The 1/2 that wasn't.....The Achievement that Was

The title of this post was suppose to be "From Couch Potato to Half Marathon!"

I'm still really sad that that isn't the case. I wasn't going to blog anything, but then after coming out of my two day depression I had a clearer view of things.

Yes, the race means ALOT. But it doesn't mean everything.

It doesn't change what I have achieved.

I am still a girl who never ran a day in her life and in 6 months was fully prepared to run a half marathon.

Back to the beginning:

At the end of October I joined the YMCA (the 2nd time) and then proceeded to look at the classes they offered, but never go. Then Renee said she was working out at the Y and that we should workout together. She was following a book doing weight lifting. Sure I said. I'll just follow whatever you do. So just after Thanksgiving we started working out together. It was great! We had a routine and we kept each other motivated and it was a nice escape from Mommihood for a couple of hours.

Then Renee and Amalea started bringing up doing the Rock 'n Roll 1/2 Marathon in June. I'm pretty sure I laughed in their face the first time (and 2nd & 3rd) and emphatically told them, "I'm not a runner and I have no desire to do that."

My FB post on January 1st was this:

Heather Boyd Frink is going to do the impossible this year - what I tell myself is impossible - but only through the strength of Jesus Christ my Lord, Savior, Redeemer and Friend. Will you join me?!

Part 1 of doing the "impossible". In January Renee and I joined a class, Women on Weights. I would never have joined this class w/o Renee's prompting. I'm so thankful I did because it was awesome. The weights area is very intimidating, especially with all those beefy, grunting guys around. But now I can confidently go into that area and have a great workout.

Part 2: Along with weight lifting, we also did some cardio as part of this class. She had us do interval running/walking on the treadmill. I know this sounds crazy, but I was terrified to do this. Remember, "I'm not a runner." Well the first time that I did the 16 minute interval (and didn't die), I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe I had done it. I was learning that I was stronger than I let myself believe.

Part 3: The girls kept on prodding me to join the race. I started giving it more consideration....."Maybe I could do this. I wanted to make this year a year that I did the impossible and this certainly seems impossible." Then Renee wanted to run 3 miles for her birthday and I told her that I would run with her. So Sunday morning, January 31st, I went to her house and Renee, Keri and I ran. It was my first run. I did not run 3 miles. I couldn't do it. I mostly walked and then would run to keep up with them and then walk again. I also did a short cut so that I could finish with them. Renee did awesome and ran the whole thing. So I'm thinking, "If I can't run 3 miles, how am I going to run 13.1?? I can't do this."

Part 4: February 2nd, I signed up for the race. I didn't want my fears to hold me back any longer. I signed up on pure faith. I had utterly no idea how I was going to run the race. I didn't tell anyone but my friends I was running with, not even my family, because I didn't know if I could do it. 

I didn't really start running until March. I just did the interval running on the treadmill and finished the WOW class. I got my first pair of running shoes at Roadrunners on my birthday and the Nike Plus system. Awesome! So then I just started running. I would run/walk 1 mile, then 2, then 3. It took me a long time to go from 1 to 3 miles. Each mile was a huge victory. I also printed out a beginners 1/2 marathon training schedule and started following it. I started in the 13 minute mile range and slowly worked myself down to 11 minute miles that I have stayed at.

April 1st I ran 4 miles. April 24th I ran 7 miles. I knew I could do it after this run. I was gaining confidence and actually enjoyed running. It was amazing! May 9th I ran 9 miles and I told my family that day what I was going to do. And then even made it FB official not long after. :-) 

By May 18th I was so confident that I could run the half and that I would "enjoy" doing it, I signed up for another Half in October.

On May 31st I ran 10 miles. I knew that this would be my longest run until the Half  and I felt confident and ready for the race. I could not believe how far I had come from not being able to run 3 miles with Renee on January 31st and now I had just run 10 miles! It really is true that with a plan and a lot of effort and perseverance, you could do just about anything. I was certainly proof of that.

26 Days for it all to unravel....

Tuesday, June 8 - I had a heart procedure to try and fix my abnormal heart rhythm (SVT). This is my 4th one. I have one of the difficult and unique cases. Lucky me. It seemed to have worked and now I just needed to let my body heal for at least a week and I could start running again. No more meds!

Well, my cardiologist did ask me not to run the race. He was afraid that the insertion point in my vein would not have enough time to heal for such a strenuous event. Even though I had talked to his nurses twice about my plans and they had said that it was no problem, he was now saying that it might be too much. Darin & I took this under advisement and decided that I would still race but I would wait as long as possible before running again. At this time he never said he was concerned about my heart.

Saturday, June 19 - I ran for the first time since the procedure. I ran 5 miles and my legs felt good, but my heart rate was really high. It was getting into the 190s. On medicine my heart rate was staying in the 150-70s. I was not happy about this and fearful that my heart had gone back to the bad rhythm.

Monday, June 21 - I wanted to run one more time before I called my cardiologist. I ran 5 miles again and my heart rate was still in the 175-190 range. If I pushed myself, then it would go into the 190s.

Tuesday, June 22 - I called my cardiologist and left him a message with my heart rate information. I'm thinking that I can just take medicine to keep my heart rate down for the race. His nurse calls me back and asks if I can come in Thursday morning at 8:30 to have an EKG.

Thursday, June 24 - I had a full day planned. I would go to the Dr appt at 8:30, then take the kids directly to the Grandparents house and then I'd meet Darin at his work so that we could go to the Health Expo to pick up our race packets and wander around the booths to buy fun race stuff. :-)

Wow, did everything come to a halt at the doctors office.

My Dr was not there, I was meeting with his Nurse. My EKG came back normal, but she begins to inform me that the Dr doesn't want me to race. As I'm realizing what she is saying, tears begin to well up. She says that the Dr thinks that it is too risky to run with my heart rate getting so high. With the race adrenaline and anxiety and knowing that I will most likely push myself to be my fastest.....my heart rate will sky rocket into the 200s and it will just be too much for my heart to handle. She said that she knows there are medics there, but who knows if they will see me and how long it will take to get to me.......it is just not safe for you to run. I asked why I couldn't just go back on my heart medicine and she said that we need time to figure out what dose is right and that it isn't even an option to just put me on it and not know how my heart will react during the race. Since I'm not in the bad rhythm it is finding a low dose that helps to keep my heart rate lower, but not too low. I'm realizing that I'm really not going to be able to run the race. I can't believe it. I tell her that I asked several times if there would be any problems running the race before I had the procedure, otherwise I would have put it off for another time. She said that she doesn't think the Dr would have wanted me to race no matter what because I have such a unique heart problem and it is hard to guess what my heart will do. There is nothing more to say. I just have tears streaming down my face. She tells me to start taking a low dose of my meds again and monitor while I'm doing short runs and to bring that info to the Dr on 7/9.

That's it. All the I have worked for and dreamed of accomplishing has just ended. Just like that.

I'll save you all the details of me crying and more crying. It's not pretty.

So now it is race day - Saturday, June 26, 2010.

After two days of wallowing, I realize I have a choice - I can choose to be miserable today or I can choose to support my Hubby and friends and be excited for them. Thankfully I choose life!

I had left Darin a little note with his gear and I texted my friends a good luck note and now the kids and I would get on with our day.

Thankfully Elissa had a birthday party to go to at 10:15am, so we got up and got ready and went to the store and got a present and then headed to Super Jump Zone. Then Zach and I went to the store to get groceries for the BBQ that evening.

I figured out how to check on their finishing scores on my phone. So I was checking them around the time I thought they would finish and then I texted them with a congratulations and their time. They all met their goals and did super fantastic!!

 Melinda, Rick, Renee, John, Darin &  Amalea

 That evening we all celebrated at the Chandler's home. I'm so thankful to be surrounded by these wonderful people that push me to think bigger and to grow closer to God, but not without the support of each other.

So no matter what happens with my heart and what my doctor advises, I have achieved the impossible!

I am working on other personal goals and I pray that I let go of the fear and hold with both hands the strength that God has given me.

Hebrews 12:1-3

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.