Full of Anxiety

Saturday, 8-29-09

I had a very restless night last night. I maybe slept 3-4hrs. I woke up about midnight with a start, but I don't remember why. Then my mind started kicking in and fear and anxiety started overwhelming me. Thinking about Elissa and her diagnosis of seizure disorder and the fear of not catching it if another one happens - so I lie really still and listen to her. Is she breathing? Is she making repetitive sounds? Is she moving? Then I get up and go close to her so I can see her.

Then something wakes Zach, so I go and soothe him and get him settled back into bed. He wakes up 2 or 3 times, which isn't normal so I'm worrying about him a bit. Maybe there is a full moon tonight. :0)

I'm just having a feeling of dread - like something is going to happen and I need to be on alert to catch it.

I even hear kids outside at 1am and I go outside to make sure they are not in Darin's boat getting his fishing gear that he loaded in it last night to go salmon fishing this morning.

So I lay back down again and listen to Elissa. I'm afraid I'm missing something or ignoring signs. Today when we were shopping she leaned over to my mom and whispered, "Don't tell Momma, but your little girl is sick." Mom told me afterwards. I think that statement is haunting me and making me feel like I am missing something.

Darin did some research and found this very technically savy pad that goes under the mattress and detects whether someone is having a seizure or has stopped breathing and many other things. He bought it and we'll get it set up in the next couple of days. That is my wonderful husband! The same one who wanted to buy all the equipment that was in the NICU when Elissa was born and in there for almost 3 wks. Just needing a little peace of mind at home and feeling like we are doing all we can to help her.

At 1:30am I decide to get up and journal and do some Bible study. I'm praying for wisdom as I'm thinking about Elissa. Yesterday morning she woke up and was having a hard time walking. She pointed to both of her hips hurting. I just kind of dismissed it as sleeping wrong or growing pains. As she walked around she said it was getting better, but it was still bothering her when we went shopping so I brought the stroller along.

I really try not to be one of those "hypochondriac mothers" who are always taking their kids to the doctor for every little sniffle. Which I don't even know any moms like that, but for some reason I don't want to be "one of those". I don't rush my kids to the doctor every time they aren't feeling well and I try to take them only when it seems like it is now the "sensible" thing to do (whatever that is). If you ask my friends, they will tell you that I'm not a person full of anxiety. I don't worry a lot. I look at the facts and try to make the best decision and then move on. And that is what I have been doing with Elissa, but now I feel this overwhelming anxiety. Maybe it is a delayed reaction and I'm finally letting myself feel these feelings.

As I'm journaling, I do hear the Holy Spirit telling me that I have been burying my head in the sand. I haven't really done any research and I have literally not even cracked the book open about childhood epilepsy that the doctor gave us. I don't want to think of my little girl as being an epileptic. I have done what I need to do - talk to the school, get prescripts for them, follow up with our pediatrician - those things, but I guess I haven't really accepted it. I feel God is telling me, it is time to accept it and it is time to read the book.
I just have a feeling that we are not done with this. I'm crying as I write that.

I'm asking the Lord again for wisdom in what has happened and to know what is significant and what isn't. Elissa's other 911 call comes to mind again. I have talked to the neuro Dr about this and she didn't seem to think much of it, but I think I need to talk to her about it again (as my mom will emphatically agree with - trying to hold back her opinions, but not real successful :-) ). Then the relationship to immunization shots and the 911 call comes to mind. She had her 5yr shots on Tuesday afternoon 2-24 and then on Thursday afternoon 2-26 I couldn't get her to wake up from her nap for more then 30 seconds at a time and that lasted for hours. I thought she had a concussion, but maybe the medics were partially right - she was just really tired. I have asked if she maybe had had a seizure at that time because they are extremely exhausted afterwards and I need to be sure and ask the question again. I don't know if it will really matter if it was, but I need to press the issue.

I then worked on my Bible study for awhile and went back to bed around 3:15am. I still didn't feel at ease, but I went back to sleep. But then Darin gets up at 4am to go fishing and Zach gets up at 6am, so I didn't get much sleep. I prayed that Zach would sleep until 7am, but I must not need the sleep. :0)

I was just in the shower - a little peace and quiet - thinking about all this stuff and I just needed to write it all out.

So now on with our rainy day. But not before I write down the scripture that was on my heart all last night and just popped back into my mind.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and
He will make your paths straight.

Summer Fun - Part 3

Wednesday, 8-26-09
We have been hiding out at home all week. We were suppose to have a play date on Monday and Wednesday, but Zach and I had a pretty bad cough and he has a runny nose. We don't want to get anyone sick. This is the first time we have left the house.
Zach and I dropped off Elissa at dance class (5:40pm) and he and I went to Fred Meyer to run an errand and get a drink. Zach is bored while he is waiting for his chocolate milk. :0) Then we picked up Elissa at 6:30pm and went to Applebee's for dinner and then Dairy Queen for a treat. YUM! Darin was at a Mariner's game with work. It was a nice evening.

Sunday, 8-23-09
The day after our BBQ with the Jones', Martinson's and Merte's where the Jones' spent the night, I felt like going shopping. Kirk and the boys came with us for awhile, but they got pretty bored after about 2hrs and they left. Poor Elissa had to stay with Kirstin and I and we wore her out. :0) After this, we let Elissa play in the play area until the mall closed. Then we dropped Elissa at home and we decided to go see The Time Traveler's Wife. After dropping off Kirstin, I got home around midnight. It was such a GREAT weekend. I'm SO thankful to have great friends and a wonderful best friend.

Friday, 8-21-09
This morning went to Point Defiance Zoo and fed the Budgies!
The kids absolutely loved this. I was a little afraid thinking back to our experience at the Butterfly house (remember The Butterfly Attack?), thinking the kids would be freaked out that the birds were flying all around them and landing on them, but they loved it.

Thursday, 8-20-09
Today we had a play date with Jenny and her kids - Adam, Kelsey and Clara - at Sunset Park. Kelsey and Elissa get a long really good and love playing together.

Elissa is such a good climber.

Zach trying to keep up with the girls - Kelsey in the window and Elissa's behind.

Elissa, Clara and Kelsey

Wednesday, 8-19-09
Elissa and Zach having some more sprinkler fun!

Tuesday, 8-18-09
Amy and the girls - Symantha, Hailey and Addison - came over to play with us today. The girls had a lot of fun playing dress up in Elissa's room, then running or wagon rides thru the sprinkler and then time in the sand box (or small lake).
Elissa pulling Hailey

The sprinkler was near the sand box, so it became sand lake. The girls thought this was great fun! Amy wasn't so thrilled since the girls were going straight to Southcenter after this....oops! :0)

We need to have them over again soon!

Then later that evening Elissa and I met Kirstin, Charis and Payton at Red Robin for dinner.

Cute girls!
It was so cute - we heard after they started talking that Charis was asking Elissa if she was doing good and Elissa was telling her that she had been really sick and in the hospital, but that she is good now. Kirstin said that she had to tell Charis not to ask too many questions and which things were "appropriate" to ask. :0)

Red Robin was even there!Sweet P!He has a tail!They love spending time together.The kids had a great evening together.

Monday, 8-17-09
I got Elissa and Zach really cute - old school - lunch boxes. Zach is really into Superman and Spiderman, well Mommy thinks it is really cute. So I keep on buying him those things - see the Spiderman under roos which I think are SO adorable - so much so that Darin has asked if he can get some. :0)

Saturday, 8-15-09
Darin and Zach went to the Amazon Company Picnic while Elissa and I stayed home and rested. They had a GREAT time!

They had so much for the kids to do. This was the toddler area. Of course Zach goes to the two things he loves - tractors and lawn mowers. :0)

Then they went and watched to super cross guys. Ohhhh, so cool!

They brought home t-shirts, kites and balsa wood airplanes.
You don't see companys put on picnics like this anymore.

A Momma's Pain

Wednesday, 8-19-09

It is not very often that a Mom has a visual sign of the pain in her heart,
but I sure had one this time.

When I realized that Elissa was having a seizure, I tried to get to a phone as fast as I could to call 911. Well the fast way down from a bunk bed seems to be falling down the ladder. I missed the steps and landed against her wood cubes hitting my arm. It didn't phase me a bit at the time - I barely noticed I did it. I was so full of terror and adrenaline and focused on saving my baby, that I didn't feel anything.

When we got to the hospital I was completely overwhelmed. It is like when you watch Grey's Anatomy and all the doctors are surrounding the patient and working on them and the family member is in back of them feeling helpless and so frightened about what the Doctors are going to find out. That was me. Brain damage just kept on running through my mind over and over again. I wondered if I would ever get to talk to the same Lissy that I did before I put her down for her nap. I just needed to see her open her eyes again. Emotions are coming in waves as I try to stay focused on what the nurse is telling me. I pray for the strength to get through this and for any knowledge that I need to tell the doctors.

My mom walks in and I can feel my resolve start breaking. Of course I just want to fall into my mom's arms and just sob, but I can't do that now. I feel like I'm the 5 yr old and I just want my mom to make it all better - but no, I'm the mom now and I'm the one that has to be brave and do all I can to make it better. Mom can barely keep it together, so we try to be strong for each other. I feel a pain in my arm and look at it and see a couple of long scratches - where did that come from I wonder? As I start feeling my arm hurt, I also start feeling my feelings and let some tears come and go. The process of acknowledging the pain and the hurt is starting to surface.

What my arm looked like Friday afternoon.

As the day goes on, I feel more pain in my arm and it is looking worse. I still can't remember what I did to myself. I cried with Darin and I've cried by Elissa's side - hurting so much for my little girl, feeling so helpless. Still so desperately wanting to see her eyes open, but also so afraid of what will happen when she does. The tears are there, but I'm still trying to be brave for Elissa. I talk to her and let her know that Mommy is here and that she is being taken care of and that everything is going to be alright. Just like I did when I found her and when we were at Good Sam and they were poking and prodding her - I had to be calm - to keep her mind calm. I continue to pray and ask others to pray. The pain and fear is there, but it is still being kept under the surface.

The next day (Thursday) I see I have a big bruise starting.....oh nice! People are going to think Darin beats me. Ha! :0) It finally pops into my brain what happened - oh yes, I fell down the ladder. Ouch! But I'm rejoicing because Elissa finally woke up and was coherent and answered questions and asked questions. The hallucinations are worrisome, but we can handle that. Whew, I can relax a little - my baby girl's brain seems to be ok! I was able to release some of my anxiety and fear by writing out the whole situation yesterday to all my FB friends. It was very theraputic and even more so to get words of prayers and sympathy and help. As the bruise on my arm is showing up, I can show my fears and let go of some of the anxiety and lean on others.

Friday the bruise is even more pronounced and tender. And with that, I'm ready to call my BFF and have a good cry. The news of Elissa's EEG being abnormal is so overwhelming. I have to share that. I couldn't call her earlier because I needed to keep it together and I wasn't ready to let down my guard. Now was the time. Now - just like the bruise was really tender and showing more - I had to let out more. It felt so good to be heard and felt and cried with. There is a progression to these things.

And now, Tuesday, almost a week later - the bruise is still there and still pretty purple, but the tenderness is gone. The effect of the fall is there, but the hurt has pretty much gone away. And so is the terror, anxiety and some of the fear with Elissa. She no longer is in immediate danger and I know that she is going to be just fine. The memory is still very vivid and I can work up a good cry pretty fast, but that is just more of reliving the fear and letting it go.Now I just try to focus on the future and what I can do to help prevent this from happening again. The memory is still there - just like the bruise - the reminder of the hurt. If you press hard enough the hurt is still there, but getting less and less. Just as God is giving me "peace that passes all understanding" so that I'm not full of anxiety and worry - just still feeling the feelings and working through the day to day changes that need to be made.

Today, Wednesday, one week since it happened. I'm feeling overwhelmed today and a bit of heaviness from the experience and all the little things I have to do because of the diagnosis of a seizure disorder (very generic). But I praise God for His faithfulness and His grace for each day and how healthy my little girl is. There are others going through worse. We can handle this.

A definition of:
MOM = one full of courage and bravery;
Her heart walks around outside her body;
Dependent on the Lord for His grace and mercy
my definition

Day 3 - We get to leave!

Friday, 8-14-09I came across this quote from Lysa TerKeurst's blog:
Life. Sometimes it hands us messy. Sometimes it hands us flowers. And the unpredictability of it all is what makes life exciting and heartbreaking all at the same time. And reminds us to remain completely dependent on Jesus. Amen!

That is so, so true. Life can't always be a "bed or roses" and the hard times are when we cling to Jesus and our faith grows and we find out how much we are wrapped in love here on earth. This thought was preparing me for the news to come.

Around 11pm I finally laid down to get a little sleep in the chair/bed next to Lissy. Just after midnight someone came in and started checking Elissa and I kind of ignored her, but then she started telling me who she was and that she was the neurologist......my mind pops awake and I try to wake up to hear what she is saying and to comprehend what she is saying. I think - should I call Darin - but I know she won't be here that long. I just have to do the best I can. So she tells me that Elissa's EEG has come back ABNORMAL - I want to burst out in tears right now, but I have to keep it together.

What does that mean?? It is showing that she is prone to seizures. With the right stimulus or something, she will have a seizure. She may grow out of it, but we don't know. We don't know why she has an abnormality and there is really no way to find out. She will continue to be on anti-seizure meds for probably a couple of years unless she has several EEGs that show she no longer has the abnormality. There is a possibility that they will do a prolonged EEG study so they can determine if the hallucinations that Elissa is having are related to a seizure.

What does this mean for our life - her life?? You have to be cautious in what she does. She must swim with a life vest in case she has a seizure in the water (Elissa hasn't swam w/a life vest all year - she won't like this). She must wear a helmet when she is on her bike or scooter or anything like that (I'll have to make her when she rides around on the back deck). She has to be careful when she plays sports. What about soccer this fall? At that age, it is fine. If she is still dealing with this when she is a teen, then you might reconsider sports. You have to make your school aware of the situation and determine a plan of action if she has a seizure at school. You can't leave her with anyone that doesn't know how to respond to her having a seizure. (Kirstin comes to mind and what she has to deal with regarding Payton and his diabetes. All the school decisions and only certain people she can leave him with. Wow, that is me too now.) We will have to watch a video to train ourselves to administer medication to her if she has a seizure and anyone else watching her. How do I watch her day and night?? Well, you do what you can do. Use a baby monitor in her room to listen to her - though I would have her sleep with me the first week or so (there goes the beautiful loft bed I waited months to show up for her - can't have her have a seizure up there again).

My mind is racing, racing, racing trying to ask all the right questions and remember what she tells me so that I can relay it back to Darin. Anyone that knows my husband knows that he is very analytical and will have a million questions that I feel I must have an answer for - lots of pressure! Though the Dr said that another neuro Dr will be making rounds in the morning, so I know that Darin will have a chance to speak with a neuro Dr. Whew! :0)

Can you say - OVERWHELMED - that is me! Life changes with one sentence.

So now it is just after 1am and I can't sleep with all this info going through my head. I'm on the computer for awhile and then Elissa wakes up a little after 2am and is up to stay for awhile. She is really off on her sleeping schedule. She is hallucinating again this morning. :0( I tell the nurse every time she says something about spiders so they can note it in her chart for the Dr. So we start watching Barbie Thumbelina one more time. At 3:09am I call Darin to tell him that I'm ready to go take my few hours of sleep. :0) He was in the shower getting ready to come over.

It was hard to tell Darin about the EEG, but I wasn't too emotional at that time because I was just so exhausted. We talked through it and left him with questions to ask the next neuro Dr. Now sleep for me! While I was sleeping, Darin was taking Elissa on a wheel chair ride and teaching her how to wheel herself around. She was also seeing spiders and spiders webs during their ride. Then they watched a little more movie and she was ready to go back to sleep.Mom called me at 8:20am. I was just starting to think about getting up, so up I was. I called Darin and Elissa was still sleeping and he already had coffee, so I didn't need to run back to the room. I went to the cafeteria and had breakfast. Then I stopped in the gift shop to see if there was anything I wanted to get Elissa. I'm walking in the shop and I'm overcome by sadness with my little girl having to go through this. I walk out and call Kirstin, my BFF, and just talk to her about the ordeal and cry and get it all out. She definately understands, since her little boy Payton (just 3 days older then Elissa) was diagnosed with childhood diabetes. I needed that little "break down" time.

Soon after I got back to the room, the 2nd neuro Dr and peds Dr came in about 10am. They did not feel that there was a need for an EEG extended study. By this time I had thought that this really needed to happen because of all the hallucinations going on earlier in the morning. I was not accepting that answer. The neuro Dr explained that he was fairly confident that the hallucinations were not seizure related, but rather sleep deprivation, mixed with meds and brain fatigue from the seizure. The hallucinations that Elissa described were not ones that are usual with seizures. So I conceded and trusted that God had given them wisdom to give us the right answer.

They also said that they were ready to discharge us.....what?? I'm floored and scared. After Elissa "crashed" last night and then still hallucinations this morning, I was pretty sure we were going to be there through the weekend. They saw that she was improving each day and were not concerned about the hallucinations. So we needed to get her up and walking around and eating more so that she could go home.

Dennis arrived soon after. Elissa was excited to get back in the wheel chair. I was completely amazed to see how she could wheel that thing around and maneuver in and out and around. It was such a crack up! It was so good to see her acting a little normal. :0)

So we did a little touring of the 6th and 7th floors. Dennis left and then Patty showed up. She talked Darin into letting her take Elissa down to the gift shop. :0) She came back up with yet another stuffed animal - a puppy w/carrier and color book and crayons. They even got Zach a Curious George fireman stuffed animal. Then Patty stayed with Elissa so Darin and I could go get some lunch together - just after 1:30pm.

When we got back Elissa was taking a nap. Patty left and the neuro Dr came at 3:30pm. He confirmed that Lissy was ready to go home and gave us home care instructions and a big book to read - Seizures and Epilepsy in Childhood, A Guide. Something you re ally don't want to see on your coffee table.

Elissa rolled herself out of her room and out to the car. We left the hospital around 4:30pm. Yeah!! Darin went and got Zach while Elissa and I got showered and I took about 20 minutes to get all the rats out of Elissa's hair. Darin picked up some movies and snacks a nd we hung out the rest of the evening. We all went to bed at the same time and Elissa slept between us.
It really did end up being a pretty restful night. I just slept light and checked her when she moved or made noise - but it wasn't bad or as stressful as I thought it would be. It definitely was the prayers that helped.

Now we just move on to finding out what our new "normal" will be.

Day 2 in the Hospital

Thursday, 8-13-09

Elissa 7:15pm

Sometime after 1am Elissa told us that she was seeing fireflies in the room, which of course freaked us out. The fireflies were all different colors and Elissa would point to them and say, "see them there - and there - and there" as she is pointing at them. The nurse felt that it was just the meds.

Darin left to got get some sleep at our room at The Treehouse around 2am. The hospital owns this wonderful old brick apt building and rents it ($20 a night) for families in the ICU. It was so nice to have a place to go to outside the hospital and get a few hrs of sleep. I couldn't get Elissa to go back to sleep at all. She would lay back for a minute and then ask a question or want to watch a movie or want me to be in bed with her. No sleep for me, but so - so thankful that she is awake and coherent - though the fireflies are still flying around.Darin came back around 5am and then I went to go have a little rest. While I was gone the fireflies turned into bugs that were crawling everywhere and on her. The nurse called the Dr and he said that it may be a sign that she was having small seizures or that seizures were coming. That was definitely scary news. I woke up at 7:40am and was back in the room by 8am. We got just enough rest to keep us going.

Elissa still wasn't wanting to sleep. We were waiting to hear when we would get her in for an MRI and EEG this morning. We heard the nurse talking and heard that the MRI wouldn't be until 4pm - my heart fell. BUT then they were in our room getting ready to take Elissa. Another patient cancelled, so they "slipped" Elissa in. We know and give glory to God for clearing the schedule for us.

So Elissa was in having an MRI at 10am. They put her under for it. It was hard to watch her go in and leave her. This gave us 30mins to go grab some breakfast and a little time for me to cry and let out some of the emotions that are pent up behind the brave "mommy face". :0) When we got back Elissa had been out for a few mintues. I seen that as a good sign that they didn't find anything. I was thankful that she got this time to finally get some rest. Then Mom showed up with a gift for Lissy. It was a cute ballerina lion. :0)

Pastor Tim came by to see us. We weren't expecting him, so it was such a nice surprise to have him here and praying with us. Then around noon they started getting Elissa ready to do the EEG. It took a long time to get ready and to get her all hooked up. Chad showed up at 12:30pm and they still hadn't gotten all the electrodes on. Elissa was having a very hard time with getting the 25 electrodes attached. She was uncomfortable and tired and hungry and very crabby. So the nurse brought out popsicles to help with her mood. She really was such a brave girl through it all. The EEG was finally done around 1:30pm.
12:50pm
Then we got the news that they were going to move us out of ICU now. I was a little worried about not getting as good of care, but it ended up being really nice. We moved at 2pm. Elissa was SO excited to get out of bed and to get to ride in a wheel chair - and get another popsicle. When we got to Elissa's room there was a very cute teddy bear waiting there for her. She LOVED that. :0) The room was bigger with not as much equipment and we got our own bathroom and shower. It was also a room with a big window and a nice view of Puget Sound. Just the type that Darin likes. We often have to move rooms in hotels to get just the right view. :0)

1:56pm2:15pm with her new bear "Beary"Dad showed up around 2:30pm, so Darin and I took the opportunity to leave the room and go have some lunch/dinner together. Mom climbed in to bed with Lissy, at her request, and rubbed her back (also at her request) and got her to fall asleep. When we returned she was still sleeping. Patty and Zach showed up around 4pm. Elissa was asleep the whole time that Zach was there and I didn't get any pictures of him there - I can't believe that. :0( Mom and Dad then left and took Zach with them to stay the night with them. He is having a grand time!

2:59pm

We have heard unofficially that the MRI was clear, but we haven't heard anything about the EEG. We are eagerly awaiting the arrival of the neuro Dr. One of the nurses came in to get blood and decided that the two IVs that Elissa had in her arms were no longer good, so she took them out. Ouch!! I hate IVs, so I know the hurt that Elissa is going through. Then the nurse put in a new one. It is SO sad to see her hurting like that. She got this fancy little glove to keep the IV in place. She thought it was cool. :0)

6:20pm

Uncle Chad and Aunt Holly came to see Elissa a little after 7pm. They brought yummy cake that was suppose to be for Nana's surprise birthday party last night - so we had some and gave the rest to the nurses. They brought Lissy a whole bag full of fun gifts - two stuffed animals, Tinkerbell sticker book and puzzle and some chaptstick, lip gloss and nail polish. Of course Elissa had to get the polish out and she let Auntie Holly paint her toenails. A girl has to look good! :0) It was a fun visit, but Elissa started pooping out and getting extremely crabby just after 8pm. So the guests left and we worked on settling her down and getting her to sleep.

7:38pm

Darin left to go to the Treehouse a little after 9pm. I got Elissa to sleep and then I worked on my computer updating everyone and answering emails, texts and FB messages. What a great thing technology is! I was able to text people to pray and then post on FB for people to pray and others were able to easily ask their friends to pray - it was awesome! Then to get all the encouragement from people via text, FB and phone was SO encouraging. It really made a world of difference to us.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

The Story of Today 8/12/09

Elissa at 7:07pm

It was a normal morning of swim lessons and then just hanging out at the house. I put the kids down early for naps at 12:30pm because we had an afternoon of errands and Nana's 65th birthday party to prepare for and go to. I really didn't think Elissa would take a nap, but she said she was tired and went right down.

At 2pm I went in her room to wake her up so we could go p/u birthday cake and such. I called up to her (she has a bunk bed) and then started picking out her clothes. I heard her moan a couple of times and called to her again and then realized that the moaning sounded strange. I climbed up the ladder and saw her kind of jerking her hands. I went to her and tried to wake her up, but she was unresponsive. Her eyes were open but staring up and to the right and her hands were jerking and her legs were kind of stiff. Then I noticed that she was drooling and it kicked in that she was having a seizure. There was a lot of drool on her bed, so she had been having it for quite some time (I probably realized this a little later).

I fell down her ladder (giving myself a huge bruise on my arm) and called 911. They said to just leave her alone and the paramedics would be there soon. I called my mom, Darin (who rode the Sounder to work in Seattle), my neighbor Angie (for Zach who was still napping) and my MIL. Patty. I was freaking out on the inside, but trying to remain calm and in control on the outside. Of course praying all the while that she would be my normal little girl after this. I kept on running up to check on her and then out the door to see if the paramedics were here yet. I swear it took an hr for them to get there, but it was probably more like 15 minutes. She was still seizing when they got to her room.

They got her down from the loft and started working on her. Zach woke up, so I'm outside the room trying to keep him occupied. I called Angie to come get him because I knew I would be going to the hospital. They tried to get her to stop seizing, but were unsuccessful. They loaded her up to take her to Good Samaritan first to get her stabilized. My neighbor across the street, Gary, came over and said he would watch Zach until Angie came. I got in the ambulance and Angie and Patty pulled up at the same time. Whew, Zach is taken care of. I'm trying to keep it together - wondering how long she had been seizing before I found her and is she going to have brain damage and so thankful that I needed to wake her up today - Praise God! I later found out that they will most likely suffer brain damage if they are unattended for more then an hour. If I hadn't needed to wake her up, she would have been unattended for at least an hour. Again, thank you God!

We got to the emergency room with my mom close behind us. They were giving Elissa all sorts of meds and were unable to get her to stop seizing. They called Mary Bridge Children's Hospital to come and transfer her. After probably 30 minutes or so they finally thought they had them under control, but they had to put in a breathing tube in case they had to put her in a coma to stop the seizures. By this time my dad was there and Darin had arrived from his taxi ride. They took her in for a CT scan and everything was normal. They were talking about giving her a spinal to rule out meningitis and other infections, but would see what the Mary Bridge team said. She probably ended up seizing for almost 2 hours before it was stopped, but since she was under medical care and getting oxygen, there was no brain damage. Thank you Lord!

Elissa was completely drugged up and unresponsive. I would talk to her while they were poking and prodding and she would settle down somewhat. I kept on praying for strength to keep it together and for God to put anything on my mind that I needed to tell the doctors and that He would give them wisdom to help her out. The Mary Bridge team came in and got caught up, checked her out and loaded her into their ambulance just before 5pm (3hrs after I found her). She was stabilized at this point. I rode in the ambulance with her while Mom, Dad and Darin followed. Wow, I'm going to look at ambulances racing down the streets in a totally different way now.

We were then at the Mary Bridge NICU. Her vitals were good and the Dr didn't see anything yet wrong with her. She was breathing good on her own and they would take out the breathing tube as soon as she woke up a little. She wouldn't open her eyes, but she was fighting the tube and choking on it and trying to pull it out (they had her hands tied down). After 30mins or so she still wouldn't open her eyes, so they decided that she was acting "normal" otherwise so they took out the tube. She felt at rest then and went back to sleep.

They took blood and ran tests and everything has come back normal. Since at 9:30pm she was still not awake and the Dr couldn't assess her, he decided to do a spinal tap just to be extra sure that there was no infection. The initial results are that everything is normal. She will have an MRI and EEG in the morning. The Dr said that it is better to wait awhile to get better results. It seems like you would want that right a way, but for some reason you get more data the longer you wait....

Darin with Elissa at 7:07pm

Grandma with Elissa at 7:39pm

Dennis had showed up at Mary Bridge with everyone else (thank you Patty for staying home with Zach!) and Darin left with him to go get his truck and some stuff from the house. Just after he got back, 10:30pm or so Elissa finally woke up. Her eyes were open for the first time since I had put her to bed at 12:30pm and she was having a conversation with us. She answered questions and asked questions and smiled and was perfect! Thank you God!!

Elissa awake and talking for the first time at 10:34pm - What a pretty smile!

Elissa not wanting to sleep since she has been asleep since 12:30pm, so Daddy found her a cartoon on his laptop. 12:25am - exactly 12hrs later.

Now the Drs continue to rule things out and hopefully figure out what happened. We will most likely be here a couple of days.

Thank you so much for your prayers!! Please keep them coming.

So very grateful!
Heather

Camping with Church Family

Sunday - Wednesday, 8-2/8-5-09

Camping at Mayfield Lake with
Lake Tapps Community Church

Sunday - Making Camp

We got to camp around 2:30pm and headed right to the beach after getting the trailer all settled. It was still really warm and the water was refreshing.

The kids love these little things that go round and round really fast. The first time Elissa got in she was by herself and got really scared because it would turn around with just slight movement and she couldn't get out by herself.

Yeah, our first fire!! The kids were excited to help. Well that is after I told Elissa that she had to stay at our camp that night. She really wanted to go to Kelsey's and have smores with her family, but I told her that she needed to spend her first night with our family. Such a mean mom!

This was the first fire that Darin made...then a couple more before it would stay lit. (sorry honey) BUT after it got going, it was perfect! All the other nights he was much more successful. :0)

SMORES!

"It may be messy, but it's yummy." ~Elissa Frink

Monday - Building Friendships

This is the picture of what the kids did when we weren't at the beach - ride bikes from camp to camp to camp.
Elissa, Kelsey and Carsen - The Threesome - and Tommy

This is what we saw of Elissa most of the days. She had such a great time with so many kids around and the freedom to pretty much go where she wanted to. That is definitely a cool thing about the entire campground full of church family.

Here are the girls taking a spin through our camp.

They needed some snacks. :0)

We did go to the beach a bit today too. Zach borrowed these trucks and kept on moving them around and lining them up all over the beach. :0) Zach and I were there maybe an hr and then I took him back to take a nap. I didn't end up seeing the sun much today.

That afternoon Zach was up and running. He wanted so badly to be as free as Elissa, so we followed him around ALOT. It did get us out of our camp and talking with everyone as Zach would stop and talk with everyone. :0)

We ended the evening singing songs at Pete and Sue's place. I love, love, love singing around the campfire. It was a perfect ending to a great day.

Tuesday - Lake Day

We (I) might have been a little eager to get to the lake today due to missing out yesterday. We were probably there an hour before most everyone else. The beach area around us was full when we left. :0)

Elissa trying out the flippers that were given to us. She decided that they were way to hard to use, but I'm sure glad she put them on so I could get this cute pic! hee, hee

Zach likes the water, but LOVES the sand.I can't remember the last time that Zach has fell asleep in my arms, probably when he was sick earlier this year. He was so tired and I didn't want to leave the beach, so he slept in my arms for awhile.

Elissa, Gracie and Kelsey floating around. They had such a great time!

Wednesday - Our last day - the BIG day
Gracie, Elissa and Eva hanging out in our trailer watching a movie. The sun wasn't burning off this morning, so the girls were wanting to just hang out. :0)

At 2pm it was the annual church baptism at the lake. Seven people were baptized and before they were baptized we got to hear a little bit of their story on what brought them to this point. It was awesome to be surrounded by people who love the Lord and are devoting their lives to serving Him.

Pastor Tim baptizing Gracie and her Dad, Rick, watching.

Rich baptizing both his son and daughter - How awesome is that!

Amalea praying for Heather who was just baptized.

Zach zonked out just before the baptisms. He was one tired boy!

We can't wait for next year!